You say you read me like a book; but the pages are all torn and frayed.

Iv been thinking alot lately, well I never really stop thinking, about how people see me. How do they think of me, as a person? I know that there are people that think Im pretty well stupid, but thats coming from people that arent overly intelligent themselves so that doesnt count. I would love to have an out of body experience and just watch myself for a day...

Maybe I care too much of what people think, I should probably refrain from thinking these thoughts but really how can I stop it...

I just worry sometimes that I come across as someone with no substance, or with no real opinions or passions. I guess having lived without the chance to really have an opinion or have the chance to stand up for one really takes a harsh toll on how I interact with people... but I guess it's not an excuse. I can't blame the way I was parented on the way I am... Or can I? Or do I really want to? I don't want to be that person that complains and blames everything on some one else...

I don't want much, I guess all I really want is to be seen and recognised for the person that I really am... So if being how I have been doesnt work or allow that to happen, perhaps its time to starting acting differently...