I can only remember a few bits and pieces of what happened last night... I remember planting my face into the floor...falling into the bath tub and L helping me up...throwing up through my nose... I remember everything spinning...I was so out of control... I hated it.
I also remember L holding my head up, his hands cupped around my face, and, though its blurred, I can see his eyes and that smile, and I dont feel so awful any more.
That smile is ridiculous. Its not fair how much it can affect me.
I'm so grumpy almost most of the time and then within a second of being with him, or around him, I just feel better. Lighter. Happy.
Its been so long since I've felt relatively good about myself, but these days I've been feeling fine... Its all thanks to L.
If your reading this L, you'll never fully understand how happy you make me.. how much you've helped me and how amazing you are... you never will. I so, so, so, so, long to make you feel the way you make me feel... I really hope that one day I can...
Thank you again so much for taking care of me last night.
You really are the best.
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